i oftentimes see the value in different pursuits and even encourage others to practice them while i am not sucessfully doing them myself. i classify scripture memorization in that category. As a kid i participated in the AWANA program for 7 years and memorized many of the oft-quoted verses in Scripture, but never with significant context. So, this semester i decided to memorize a whole chapter of the Bible and settled on Romans 8. If you're wondering, i am learning it in the New American Standard. i FINALLY got motivated this weekend and focused on the first two verses. i have those down, so it is time to move on to another verse or two. That's where you come in readers. If you see me either in person or online and have nothing to talk about, you can always ask what verse of Romans 8 i am on. Group accountability, gotta love it!

"Other loves may sink and settle, other loves may loose and slack,
But I wander like a minstrel with a harp upon my back,
Though the harp be on my bosom, though I finger and I fret,
Still, my hope is all before me; for I cannot play it yet.

In your strings is hid a music that no hand hath e'er let fall,
In your soul is sealed a pleasure that you have not known at all;
Pleasure subtle as your spirit, strange and slender as your frame,
Fiercer than the pain that folds you, softer than your sorrow's name.

Not as mine, my soul's annointed, not as mine the rude and light
Easy mirth of many faces, swaggering pride of song and fight;
Something stranger, something sweeter, something waiting you afar,
Secret as your stricken senses, magic as your sorrows are.

But on this, God's harp supernal, stretched but to be stricken once,
Hoary time is a beginner, Life a bungler, Death a dunce.
But I will not fear to match them - no by God, I will not fear,
I will learn you, I will play you and the stars stand still to hear."

"The Strange Music" by G.K. Chesterson
i love discovering random poetry. hooray for the internet!

i got the real-deal job today... working as an assistant to the university photographer. Good pay, really flexible hours... i am training 5 hours a week with the senior who has done it for 4 years and so i am still doing the manual labor at the Health Sciences Library for this semester, but at least i don't have to worry about getting another job until i graduate. --And now for something completely different-- Do you know what i really like about the South? The fact that people in general, and even moreso young men, are very polite. Today i had at least a dozen doors held open for me, and some even waited 15-20 seconds for me to reach the door. That always makes me feel good. --And now for something completely different-- i am doing laundry right now and the laundry room is really quite empty, which is really unusual for my building. i loathe doing laundry since it takes forever and you have to fight for washers and dryers but today, it is a ghost town. So if you live in Motown, today's a good day to wash clothes!

When peace like a river attendeth my way, When sorrows like sea billows roll;
Whatever my lot, Thou hast taught me to say, "It is well, it is well with my soul."
It is well [It is well] with my soul [with my soul], It is well, it is well with my soul.

Though Satan should buffet, tho' trials shall come, Let this blest assurance control,
That Christ has regarded my helpless estate, And hath shed His own blood for my soul.
It is well [It is well] with my soul [with my soul], It is well, it is well with my soul.

My sin-- O the bliss of this glorious thought, My sin-- not in part but the whole,
Is nailed to the cross and I bear it no more, Praise the Lord, praise the Lord O my soul!
It is well [It is well] with my soul [with my soul], It is well, it is well with my soul.

And, Lord, haste the day when my faith shall be sight, The clouds be rolled back as a scroll,
The trump shall resound and the Lord shall descend, even so, it is well with my soul.
It is well [It is well] with my soul [with my soul], It is well, it is well with my soul.

"It is Well" by Horatio Spafford, 1873

i am a very awkward dancer. All kinds of dancing, mind you. We were having girl's night at el apartamento de Amber, Laura Leigh y Rachel and we were dancing around to the soundtrack of Save the Last Dance and it just reminded me of that fact. i actually like dancing. There is a freedom in it. Amber said she'd teach me to "freestyle" which translates to moving around to the beat. That will be an o so helpful skill for my club frequenting personality! i am actually excited. We have lots of ghetto music here in our room so when Georgina's out i can close the door and pull down the blinds and just dance. Someday in the future i'd love to learn to ballroom dance. Really. It looks so elegant and beautiful. Maybe i'll be able to connive my husband, if i ever have one.

i have a love/hate relationship with songs that get stuck in my head. This morning when i came into the office, Scott was playing David Wilcox's Underneath album and i get the song "All My Life" stuck in my head. here's how it goes--

Do you believe in signs that whisper inside your mind 'till you have to follow through,
leading you home again to someplace you've never been? Well I feel that way for you.
For how can it be true, the first time I see you,
I look into your eyes, and suddenly I knew you all my life.

Don't we have all that time: treasure that's yours and mine, and a place that we call home
Don't we have photographs taken a long time back of the seasons we have known?
I know it's strange to say, when we just met this way,
but I look into your eyes, and suddenly I knew you all my life.

So I'll take the chance and tell you,
before the chance is gone,
so at least I won't be wondering
the rest of my life long.

Wilcox is such an amazing poet. His songs seem to wrap around you like a warm quilt, fitting in the nooks and crannies of your own stories. I highly recommend How Do You Find Me Here? which was his second album. Anyway, this particular song, though it speaks of love at first sight, also connects with any romantic, especially the line "leading you home again to someplace you've never been? Well I feel that way for you." That's a great line. But since i have been hearing this song in my head all day i have been thinking about love at first sight. i think it most applies to folks like Richard and Megan who began corresponding over email and when they finally met their physical attraction and chemistry matched the deep respect and affection they already had for one another. i have a hard time believing that i could look at someone and fall in love with them, because i usually judge really attractive guys to be arrogant! i don't mean to be trite, but i really dig guys with great character and intelligence. i still have to be attracted to them of course, but that is harder to explain...

The history of the Christian Church is so amazing. i have been thinking and reading a lot lately about the saints who have gone before and the legacies they left for us through their writings. It is really powerful to experience God through reading about another Christian's encounter with God centuries ago. One way of doing this is through praying other people's prayers. If you are an evangelical like me, you've been missing out on this for far too long. Check out The Book of Common Prayer (1928) to start, or look in a hymnal. Some are cool enough to include old prayers. You can always email me and i send you a cool one on the spot... i'm good for stuff like that.

There is no grace and no mercy when it comes to campus parking. The parking lot between my building and public safety [right next door] is from 7:30am-9pm. i had to park there so that i could get my permit for Craige Deck this morning. i woke up ten minutes late, and as i walked out the front door at 7:41, I saw the ticket man who had just issued my citation and was working on the car next to mine. DOH! $30 down the hole...

Today was a really good day. i filled out my employment paper work at the Health Sciences Library, weaseled my way into a parking space at Craige Deck, right across the street from my building [it is UNC's only parking deck and it isn't that large, there is no parking here.], and even won an ebay auction. And i spent the majority of the evening baking brownies and delivering them to friends. *sigh* Now to do some work!

Last night my suite FINALLY got around to exchanging secret santa gifts. My secret santa was Mollie. She and i are quite tight, and she got me the coolest gifts... a copy of the 1969 Hymnal of the Moravian Church and a cool blue Moravian star keychain. i decided right before break that i was going to collect hymnals. Really, it was more that i noticed that i had three and was already collecting them because i love hymns so much so i made it official. I am trying to aquire a few more, so if you know of anyone with a copy of The Trinity Hymnal, The Lutheran Hymnal (1941), The Hymnal (Presbyterian 1933) or any reputable old Anglican hymnal that's just collecting dust, you know who to call!

When morning gilds the skies my heart awaking cries:
May Jesus Christ be praised!
Alike at work and prayer, to Jesus I repair:
May Jesus Christ be praised!

The night becomes as day when from the heart we say:
May Jesus Christ be praised!
The powers of darkness fear when this sweet chant they hear:
May Jesus Christ be praised!

Sing, suns and stars of space, sing, ye that see His face,
Sing, Jesus Christ be praised!
Let all the earth around, ring joyous with the sound:
May Jesus Christ be praised!

Be this, while life is mine, my canticle divine:
May Jesus Christ be praised!
Sing this eternal song through all the ages long:
May Jesus Christ be praised!

Katholisches Gesangbuch, circa 1744. Translated by Edward Caswall, 1854, & Robert Seymour Bridges, 1899.

Last night i went to this punk show. My friend Meadow commented that it was like watching a documentary. All these high schoolers violently moshing and wearing some crazy stuff. i guess my comment about feeling like a high schooler is less relevant. In other news, this morning ticket distribution was good to me. For the games against NC State and Florida State, i have riser seats. You have to stand all game, but in exchange you are right behind the basket on the floor. Other perks include a better than average chance of getting on ESPN. Watch for me 28 Feb. If you are in the Southeast, you can also catch me 22 Feb. Go Tarheels!

a brief account of the last 24 hours-- Ubus... All-Campus Large Group... Do You Agree?... Yogurt Pump... "party over here!"... receiving a smattering of kisses for liking New Found Glory... gauntlet and commies... far too little sleep... talking in class to stay awake... "U2 tickets cost what?"... fantasy versus reality... postmodern and judgmental... a little time in the Pit... a good nap. How was your day?

i wish that there was somewhere to park in this town. when i got to Thomas this morning to drive out to the awakening office, he had a note from the church staff instructing him to move. :o( if you have a good lead, let me know.

Some random musings... as soon as you think you've figured something out, you realize you haven't... God is amazingly sovereign, even in our disobedience. check out Jonah!... hymns are better than praise songs, any day... good friends are the ones who think of you when they have extra basketball tickets... and also those who know you well enough to realize that you are "squirrel-y" and aren't afraid to tell you so.

i had a high school day. It was really fun :o) In high school i was friends with this girl that rarely wore jeans, always looked her best whether it be a day she interviewed for a scholarship or a day she had three tests. Anyway, she got me into dressing up and looking good, swearing boys actually noticed. i am still not convinced of this, but i think dressing up gives a girl confidence that certainly attracts guys. So, i dressed up pretty cute, nice black pants and this awesome 3/4 length blue shirt i got on sale this weekend from the Gap on Franklin St. That's one reason it was a high school day and the other reason is that i am nursing an irrational crush but the details are strictly confidental ;o) Acting immature is such a good release from life.

i know, i know, this is my third post of the day. i just wanted to note how much i like the phrase "hanging out." It is useful in so many different situations. Like, for example, if someone asks about your relationship with someone of the opposite sex [e.g. "What's going on with you and Billy Bob?"], an appropriate answer can be to shrug and say "we hang out. You and i hang out. Everyone hangs out." And it works for your friends, "we should hang out," "let's all hang out," et.al. It is just a versatile phrase.

Yay! i finally got ahold of a vacuum cleaner so now our carpet is nice and clean and i am able to stretch out on the floor again. Our semester-old DustBuster has bit the dust, so to speak. So whilest one of my handy friends, a little brother figure who likes to take stuff apart, resurrects it, our floor hadn't been cleaned since we've been back. But now it has! Thanks for sharing in my joy.

I got back this roll of film yesterday, and, much to my amazement, i managed to capture everyone i know and love looking completely horrendous. i have an especially good one of this guy named Jack, who looks mentally ill and half asleep. Speaking of sleep, it's pretty amazing how i can be really tired and just refuse to go to sleep. i think that realizing that i have to be somewhere at 9 every morning of the week but Saturday is making me want to stay up and cherish this Martin Luther King Jr. Day. But i am really digressing. i used to take good pictures. in high school i often took newspaper pictures as news editor and editor-in-chief when our photographers were irresponsible and i got a lot of compliments on more difficult shots like sports games and boring events like speeches. At least the pictures will be good for blackmail :o)

I believe in one God, the Father Almighty, Maker of heaven and earth, and of all things visible and invisible.

And in one Lord Jesus Christ, the only-begotten Son of God, begotten of the Father before all worlds; God of God, Light of Light, very God of very God; begotten, not made, being of one substance with the Father, by whom all things were made. Who, for us men for our salvation, came down from heaven, and was incarnate by the Holy Spirit of the virgin Mary, and was made man; and was crucified also for us under Pontius Pilate; He suffered and was buried; and the third day He rose again, according to the Scriptures; and ascended into heaven, and sits on the right hand of the Father; and He shall come again, with glory, to judge the quick and the dead; whose kingdom shall have no end.

And I believe in the Holy Ghost, the Lord and Giver of Life; who proceeds from the Father and the Son; who with the Father and the Son together is worshipped and glorified; who spoke by the prophets.

And I believe one holy catholic and apostolic Church. I acknowledge one baptism for the remission of sins; and I look for the resurrection of the dead, and the life of the world to come. Amen.

The Nicene Creed, developed at the Councils of Nicea, 325 AD and Constantinople, 381 AD

i finally took down the Christmas lights from our dorm room window and, feeling the need to utilize them, i decided to run them across the ceiling of our room. Keep in mind, we already have some under/around the loft above the couch. Georgina was playing some Marvin Gaye and i realized that my room has the atmosphere of a cheesy bar or some other make-out spot. greeeat.

As we were headed out of class, my friend Laura Leigh asked what i was doing this weekend and as i explained why i wanted to spend at least a good portion of it just curled up in bed [i have a bunch of frustrations with life right now] she [not rudely at all!] interrupted me.

Laura Leigh - I got a new computer so you can use my laptop until you can buy one.
kristen - no, really?
Laura Leigh - yeah!
kristen - it isn't in Georgia?
Laura Leigh - no, it is just sitting in my apartment.
kristen - really, Laura Leigh? [nod] wow! thanks! no, this is so cool! wow!

So, the most surface of my recent frustrations is temporarily alleviated. God's provision, i tell ya. And he also sent me some unexpected back earnings and a mysterious check. He knows what he's doing. I really feel the need to thank Laura Leigh right now, so maybe i should write her an email. Speaking of emailing her, according to our professor, she has the cutest email address in our whole Reli 99 class. That's a distinction i will never claim!

After a semester of struggling to understand God's complex nature [i blame studying "Theology Proper" in the college sunday school class at The Church of the Good Shepherd] i have finally come to a point where i am beginning to understand and appreciate the simplistic characteristics of God i have known since childhood, namely, His love and provision.

Semester 4. First Day of Classes. My two TuTh classes Reli 99 [persecution, tolerance and freedom] and Reli 78 [contemporary Judaism] both have fabulous instructors, intimate numbers, folks i knew and good readings. i gave my first tour of the semester to just two people [one of which already has a bachelor's degree and is just interested in moving to the area] and it was wonderful. Bright blue skies with crisp, cool air. i ran into lots of folks i know and was able to get them involved in the tour, telling my two person entourage about whatever building or area they happened to be caught in. All in all, it feels good to be back at home. i'm off to lead small group, so expect more warm fuzzies soon.

The response my need has been deafening! Emails of support as well as a total donation of $403.39! Thank you so much!

okay, this post is partially in jest. i do have a pledge for $400 towards a computer, but it is from one gracious individual and not numerous donors. In fact, i am not seeking for you, faithful [or new] reader to donate. i am learning a lot from having to use public computers [and mooch of my friends :o)] Happy return to classes!

because i missed saying it this morning because my parents are baptist...

Praise God from whom all blessings flow,
Praise Him all creatures here below,
Praise Him above ye heavenly hosts,
Praise Father, Son and Holy Ghost! Amen!

The Doxology, written by Thomas Ken for the boys of Winchester College in 1674

Sorry to wallow in o-so-much self pity. My wonderful, georgeous, gracious roommate's offered to pitch in $100 and a refurbished desktop from Dell [+ monitor] should run me about $725 so if i double the hours i was previously going to work at whatever job i get at school next semester [i quit the school of ed computer lab] i will eventually have a computer. If i get a job making significantly above minimum wage, the computer comes faster. Sorry, i am a verbal processor and while at home, that transitions into blogger-processing.

It is really weird... i am beginning to understand the immense poverty in the world, the volume of people who go hungry and those who really have nothing but the clothes on their backs, and yet, today, i feel poor. i guess it's hard to be an American, to see so many around me get stuff handed to them all the time, without expecting the same. i am not ungrateful for what i have, in fact i am very grateful, i just wish i didn't have to know that other people don't have to work for anything. Does that even make sense? Gosh, it is hard to keep a weblog without sounding like a self-absorbed jerk sometimes!

[if you get the chance today, pray for the hungry people around the world, especially hungry kids.]

Since my insurance company won't cover my laptop, leaving me computer-less, i have a new plan. i am going to set up a paypal account and label it "new server for Blogger.com" and watch the donations roll in... okay, i can't really do that. So if you have any other bright ideas on how to get some quick $$$ for a computer, send me an email or something.

i have been pretty sick and so, lying around the house, the littlest things amuse me. Take for instance, the washing machine. You throw in a bunch of really dirty clothes, some generic laundry detergent and turn it on and just like magic, it gets all the stains out. The dishwasher and the dryer are not nearly as amazing as the washing machine.

To catch you up: i have finished my scarf. It is long and wide, very warm and matches my coat, hat and gloves. i feel so accomplished :o)

Urbana was amazing. To worship with 20,000 others in languages like Spanish, Creole, Mandarin Chinese and Africaans... to hear from missionaries from around the globe... to learn every morning from Ken Fong about how I was "pre-loved" and other great concepts... to visit with exhibitors and missionaries and talk to them one-on-one [one man hugged me just because i went to the Church of the Good Shepherd :o)]. If you have the chance in 2003, go!

Urbana rocked. i am really sick. Blogger keeps messing up. i need a nap.