[grace] i have been learning lately about what a loathesome sinner i really am at my core. i wonder a lot how anyone can stand me, let alone the Sovereign God of the Universe. Grace, that's how. Like Paul says in the end of Romans 5, when sin increased, grace abounded all the more. [kind reader, if that encourages you to sin, read it in context!] So even when i fall into habitual sin, God doesn't cut me off. He loves me constantly, through it all. The coolest thing is that the more painfully aware i am of my sin, the greater my understanding of grace. Because God is such a good God, he allows us as people to not only experience recieving grace, but offering it to others as well. "Horizontal Grace" [grace between people] is hard, but good. When you are frustrated beyond belief, pray and extend grace. It is what Jesus would do, if you are into the bracelets and stuff. Experience the fullness of His grace, enjoy it and share it.


i know that my Redeemer lives; O the sweet joy this sentence gives! Alleluia! Alleluia!
He lives, He lives, who once was dead; He lives my everlasting Head.
Alleluia! Alleluia! Alleluia! Alleluia! Alleluia!

He lives to bless me with His love, And He still pleads for me above; Alleluia! Alleluia!
He lives to raise me from the grave, And me eternally to save.
Alleluia! Alleluia! Alleluia! Alleluia! Alleluia!

He lives, my kind, wise constant Friend; Who still will keep me to the end; Alleluia! Alleluia!
He lives and while He lives i'll sing, Jesus my Prophet, Priest and King.
Alleluia! Alleluia! Alleluia! Alleluia! Alleluia!

He lives my mansion to prepare, And He will bring me safely there; Alleluia! Alleluia!
He lives, all glory to His name, Jesus unchangeably the same.
Alleluia! Alleluia! Alleluia! Alleluia! Alleluia!

I KNOW THAT MY REDEEMER LIVES by Samuel Medley [1775] which we sang with a magnificant four-part arrangement this morning at church.


[Rich Mullins]

I believe there is a place
Where people live in perfect peace
Where there is food on every plate
Where work is rewarded and rest is sweet
Where the color of your skin
Won't get you in or keep you out
Where justice reigns and truth finally wins
Its hard fought war against fear and doubt

And everyone I know wants to go there too
But when I ask them how to do it they seem so confused
Do I turn to the left?
Do I turn to the right?
When I turn to the world they gave me this advice

They said boy you just follow your heart
But my heart just led me into my chest
They said follow your nose
But the direction changed every time I went and turned my head
And they said boy you just follow your dreams
But my dreams were only misty notions
But the Father of hearts and the Maker of noses
And the Giver of dreams He's the one I have chosen
And I will follow Him

I believe there'll come a time
Lord, I pray it's not too far off
There'll be no poverty or crime
There'll be no greed and we will learn how to love
And children will be safe in their homes
And there'll be no violence out on the streets
The old will not be left alone
And the strong will learn how to care for the weak

And everyone I know hopes it comes real soon
But when I ask 'em where I'd find it they seem so confused
Do I find it in the day?
Do I find it in the night?
When I finally ask the world they give me this advice

Well they said boy you just follow your heart
But my heart just led me into my chest
They said follow your nose
But the direction changed every time I went and turned my head
And they said boy you just follow your dreams
But my dreams were only misty notions
But the Father of hearts and the Maker of noses
And the Giver of dreams He's the one I have chosen

And oh, I hear the voice of a million dreams
Then I wake in the world that I'm partly made of
And the world that is partly my homemaking
And oh, I hear the song of a heart set free
That will not be kept down
By the fury and sound
Of a world that is wasting away but keeps saying (keeps on saying)

Saying boy you just follow your heart
But my heart just led me into my chest
They said follow your nose
The direction changed every time I go and turn my head
They said boy you just follow your dreams
But my dreams were only misty notions
But the Father of hearts and the Maker of noses
And the Giver of dreams He's the one I have chosen
And I will follow Him

[i have two papers due at 5 p.m. agh! please pray for my diligence]


The end of semester push forcing students to read more books and write more papers the week before exams begin is really ludicrous... how can professors expect students to begin preparing for the exam when they are assigning them essays to write? i propose that professors see the week before exams as a reading week. That way, students will be better prepared for the exams and professors have longer to grade those inevitable papers. If only i were the provost...


i am a t-shirt and jeans kind of girl. Not that i never wear khakis or nice shirts [i certainly do, several times a week even] but i am most at home in comfy jeans and a fun t-shirt. Fun is typically colorful and unique. Like my green-blue Jad Hasmona shirt in Hebrew or the lavender shirt my sister gave me or my Jew Ma shirt from Va. Beach. Anyway, i went to grab a t-shirt today and suddenly i felt the urge to reach in the closet and get a nice 3/4 length v-neck shirt that is silky soft and stretchy and a khaki skirt. Then i shed my birks for some flip-flops. It was scandalous. i totally look like a typical campus preppy girl right now. And my small group has pictures of it. But i kinda like it on some level. Scary.


the KRANC dance was so much fun. Good dj who played a good mix of music from rap to shag and swing and even a little disco. All danceable though. We went out to dinner with fun friends beforehand to 23, Michael Jordan's restaurant in Chapel Hill. Before that though, all 8 of us who went to dinner went scouting out a place to take pictures beforehand and in this neighborhood right off campus there are these cool old houses and there is this awesome cute little house with HUGE windows in the front and a wrap-around garden. In the front yard there is a sign that says "garden is open" so we knocked on the door to verify and took pictures there. That is what i want when i grow up. A little old house with a marvelous garden people can come and enjoy whenever they want. Someone remind me of that later :o)


"O quickly come, dread Judge of all; for, awful though thine advent be,
all shadows from the truth will fall, and falsehood die, in sight of thee:
O quickly come, for doubt and fear like clouds dissolve when thou art near.

O quickly come, great King of all; reign all around us and within;
let sin no more our souls enthral, let pain and sorrow die with sin:
O quickly come, for thou alone canst make thy scattered people one.

O quickly come, true Life of all, for death is mighty all around;
on ev'ry home his shadows fall, on ev'ry heart his mark is found:
O quickly come, for grief and pain can never cloud thy glorious reign."

O QUICKLY COME by Lawrence Tuttiett [1854]


Okay, confession time. The reason my posts have been not very exciting these days is that i am dealing with some major frustration. i even got to the point of anger and i had to practice some biblical "don't let the sun go down" reconciliation. Perhaps i underestimate sometimes the importance of communication and just leveling with people. *sigh* On a happier note, i am going to a fun semi-formal tonight, sponsored by KRANC--a student organization [started by some Young Life leaders] devoted to Keeping Recreational Activities New and Creative. i am really a mediocre dancer, but i love dancing. There is a freedom in it and a joy that can rarely be expressed in other mediums. i think i am going to learn how to shag or swing or ballroom dance before i leave college. i yearn for the grace these steps employ. Wow, this is really growth in the girliness department for me!


[part one of an occasional series on silly Christianese relationship mantras]

Yes, it's true. Someone you date will be your mate. Therefore, each person you date ought to be someone you could possibly marry. If you are a Christian, that means you should only be dating Christians. Period. More on the topic of "who" another day, but for now, a little "how?" Perhaps a modification of our catch phrase with even more implications would be "[just about] everyone you date will be someone else's mate." What would a dating relationship look like if both parties treated one another as anothers future spouse. We would be much more cautious about intimacy on all levels--emotional, physical and spiritual--and truly think through the progession of our relationships. We would be slow to claim songs or books or places or activities as "ours" so that they can be re-experienced and shared with others as well. We would be sure to not change the person into who we want them to become, knowing that God created each individual differently and their future husband or wife will love them for who God made them to be. This does not mean, however, that we lose the responsibility to continually point one another towards Christ. Romance is of course necessary [yes, guys, it is. do something cute for your girlfriend!] but a relationship would be rooted in a strong friendship. If it grows, it grows. You never know, that someone you date, could be your mate :o)


i was reading through my first month or so of posts yesterday, realizing how cool blogging is. i am recording my thoughts and feelings, preserving them for later re-visitation and reminisence. i have decided to make those cliques about relationships an occasional series where i expound and explain my opinion on them... i want to be able to look back and know what i thought about relationships when i was a sophomore in college. Stay tuned, friends!


Wow, in the haven of 402 Winston the relationship mantras flew today. Geren, Mike and i were discussing love and intimacy and these are some of the key phrases we [playfully] used-- "someone you date will be your mate" "if you want a soulmate be a soulmate" "you can have a list, just keep it short" "you aren't ready to date if you aren't ready to hold out." Cliches can be fun [and informative]!

Do you ever feel like the mornings are just an epic struggle between yourself and your bed? Do flowers make you grin? Does it seem odd to you that the sun is shining and it is snowing in mid-April in North Carolina? Does sunburn actually serve a purpose? Do you ever wonder why we were created to wonder?


Since no one has posted in over a week, i decided to take blog voices down. [evil cackle] Wa-ha-ha! Now you can't make fun of my new colors! Well, you could always send me an instant message.


Almighty and everlasting God, Who hast preserved me by Thy fatherly care through all the years of my past life, and now permittest me again to commemorate the sufferings and merits of our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ, grant me so to partake of this holy rite, that the disquiet of my mind may be appeased, that my faith may be increased, my hope strengthened, and my life regulated by Thy Will. Make me truly thankful for that portion of health which Thy mercy has restored, and enable me to use the remains of life to Thy glory and my own salvation. Take not from me, O Lord, Thy Holy Spirit. Extinguish in my mind all sinful and inordinate desires. Let me resolve to do that which is right, and let me by Thy help keep my resolutions. Let me, if it is best for me, at last know peace and comfort, but whatever state of life Thou shalt appoint me, let me end it by a happy death, and enjoy eternal happiness in Thy presence, for the sake of Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen. Samuel Johnson, Easter, 1770


They say that Nalgene bottles are indestructible. i know people that have run over them with SUVs. Well, whoever "they" are, they haven't met many young life leaders. Shervin and Brian threw my bottle quite violently against Silent Sam, this monument on McCorkle Place [aka the upper quad]. They stopped when the loop top busted and then we noticed the large dents the bottle had acquired. They give it character, i suppose... on a completely different note, i started the first Harry Potter book. fabulous! i am off to the beach in the morning, i will return on resurrection day. happy easter to all!


This is the second day of wearing "i agree with marty" t-shirts. So far it is going really well. This week is also Carolina's "White Ribbon Campaign" week. White ribbon is an organization of men committed to fighting violence against women. The coolest thing for me is walking around seeing guys in "i agree with marty" shirts and white ribbons. The two do go hand in hand. On another note, the weather here has skipped from winter to summer. Ay carumba! It is hot!


"Hosanna, loud hosanna, the little children sang;
Through pillared court and temple the lovely anthem rang.
To Jesus, Who had blessed them close folded to His breast,
The children sang their praises, the simplest and the best.

From Olivet they followed mid an exultant crowd,
The victor palm branch waving, and chanting clear and loud.
The Lord of earth and heaven rode on in lowly state,
Nor scorned that little children should on His bidding wait.

“Hosanna in the highest!” that ancient song we sing,
For Christ is our Redeemer, the Lord of heaven our King.
O may we ever praise Him with heart and life and voice,
And in His blissful presence eternally rejoice!"
Words: Jeannette Threlfall, 1873; Music: “Ellacombe,” Gesangbuch der Herzogl

i had the honor and privilege of going to a Love Feast at Christ the King Moravian Church with my suitemate Moll[y/ie] this morning. Sugar cake and coffee, mmm mmm good!


i love sunny days on campus, sitting on the quad watching passers by and chatting with friends. Perhaps that is why i want to stay on campuses all of my days. i will be one of those cool professors that lets students sit outside.


Have you been trying to come up with a way to say "Kristen, i appreciate you"? Look no further. Here it is. i am just too pobre to buy them for myself. i need an alternator.

Sometimes, as i grow and change and develop, i surprise even myself.


Today has been incredible so far. The marty campaign certainly started with a bang. Though i have been working on it all year, i don't think i've blogged about it at all. So here's the deal a whole bunch of the undergraduate fellowship groups on campus (intervarsity, campus crusade, waymaker, FCA, BSU. et. al.) have been planning all year for a big evangelism campaign. Starting today, the phrase "Do You Agree With Marty?" started popping up on campus--on blackboards, sidewalks, orange fliers and banners--surrounded by an aura of mystery. Monday morning, the DTH [our campus newspaper] will run an editorial written by Marty [a jr. guy with an incredible passion for God] basically saying, "i'm Marty, i'm for Jesus" and giving a brief apologetic testimony. Also on monday, the campaign spreads beyond posters and fliers to people publicity, students wearing orange t-shirts proclaiming "i agree with marty". The t-shirt wearing continues through Thursday and the climax is wednesday at 5 p.m. when marty and several football players will be sharing their testimonies on the steps of south building and luring folks in with free Chik-Fil-A. The whole point is to make Christianity an issue on campus for just a few short days, spurring conversations between friends and acquaintances and even building unity amongst the Christians on campus. i have had the pleasure of coordinating publicity for the campaign, so i really hope God uses it for his glory!

The people who we recruited as legs, arms and poster makers for publicity just did a fabulous job. "do you agree with marty?" was EVERYWHERE. UNC Student Stores has a "Tootsie Roll Question of the Day" of very hard trivia and if you get it you get 3 tootsie rolls. Occasionally, it is augmented by an even tougher bonus question. Today's bonus question: Who is Marty? That is the degree to which everyone is talking about it. I have been almost mauled by non-Christian friends trying to figure out the mystery. he he he. Come, Lord Jesus.


i am so honored. Dawn quoted my 31 march post in her blog. i am glad i connected with someone, somewhere :o)

i went to Boone and Blowing Rock on Saturday with the girls-- a fun day of hiking and sightseeing and shopping. On our last leg of around town traveling before we drove back east, we passed a big pile of boulders and for lack of a better gift, i brought a big 18 lb. rock back for Geren, Mike and Dan. i gave it to them last night along with a list of ways to use the rock, in case they ever wonder. i think they liked it.


"It is also taught among us that we cannot obtain forgiveness of sin and righteousness before God by our own merits, works or satisfactions, but that we recieve forgiveness of sin and become righteous before God by grace, for Christ's sake, through faith, when we believe that Christ suffered for us and that for his sake our sin is forgiven and righteousness and eternal life are given to us. For God will regard and reckon this faith as righteousness, as Paul says in Romans 3:21-26 and 4:5." Augsburg Confession 1530, Article IV